i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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