this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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