I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ketchup is God's man juice
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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