may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
