You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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