my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
