she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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I can't turn off my feet"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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