Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
