there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
