The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize