i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
