Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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