No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
