Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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