your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
