I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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