ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
