You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
