we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
