Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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