i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
