Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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