No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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