I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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