yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
