Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
pray to the hookup gods
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
