everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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