Can i not drive my cunt home
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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