I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
