Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
