It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize