I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
