people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
