Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
