all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
