I can text with my tongue
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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