the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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