Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
