just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
