i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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