How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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