guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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