How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
