it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
