she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
