Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You smell like stripper and shame
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
