youre lurking in front of me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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