first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
