so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
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new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
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I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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