i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
