you have to choose: penises or morals?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
