Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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