goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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