Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
