I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
