i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
