I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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