he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My vagina just recognized that song.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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