The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize