YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
