school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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