white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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