I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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