He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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