in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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