he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize