38 yer olds are good kisserssss
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
